So, Here’s How These Muffins Happened (and Why They’re ALWAYS a Hit)

Okay, you know those weeks where your vegetable drawer is bursting with zucchini because you got a little, er, ambitious at the market? That’s how I started baking these Healthy Chocolate Zucchini Protein Muffins. Honest truth: my first batch I tried to hide veggies from my snack-obsessed nephew, and not only did he not notice—he asked for more. Mind blown. I can’t promise you’ll have the same luck hiding greens from the kids, but hey, it worked for me.

I like chocolate. (A lot.) So it shouldn’t be a surprise that I found a way to make muffins that taste decadent but are still somehow—miraculously—healthy-ish and gluten free! My Sunday mornings are basically incomplete without a batch. Oh, and if you ever get stuck halfway through this recipe because your cat is determined to sit in the middle of the kitchen, just know you’re not alone. Been there, cleaned that fur off my counter. Moving on…

When I Usually Make These (And Why You Might Too)

I make these whenever I need a breakfast-that’s-actually-dessert (but isn’t? You know what I mean), or when someone texts me at 10pm about “bringing a healthy snack tomorrow.” My family goes absolutely bonkers for these. My aunt Carol insists they’re brownies, and I’ve given up arguing. They disappear faster than you can say “where’d the muffins go?”

These are also disaster-proof—most of the time. Once I forgot the baking powder and we had dense chocolate hockey pucks. But, even then, someone still ate them. They freeze great, too… theoretically. I never have enough left to test that for real.

What You’ll Need (But Don’t Stress If You Don’t Have EXACTly This)

1 medium zucchini (about 1 cup grated). If you only have yellow squash, I’ve subbed that and nobody blinked.
1 cup almond flour – My grandmother swears by Bob’s Red Mill, but store brand is fine honestly. Oat flour works in a pinch—it just gets slightly more crumbly. But still yum.
2/3 cup chocolate protein powder – I use Orgain, but really, whatever is in the cupboard will do. Vegan or whey, your call.
1/3 cup unsweetened cocoa powder. Dutch-process tastes extra rich. On second thought, just use whatever’s left in the tin, it’ll work.
2/3 cup coconut sugar. I’ve used brown sugar with decent luck, and maple syrup once (just cut back somewhere else if you do!)
2 large eggs. I’m told flax eggs work, but honestly I always use the real thing unless I’ve run out.
1/4 cup dairy-free milk (or, regular if you don’t care about dairy-free).
3 tbsp olive oil—or coconut oil. Sometimes I even melt a bit of butter if I’m feeling fancy.
1 tsp baking powder (not baking soda; don’t confuse like I have…)
1/2 tsp sea salt. Eh, regular table salt works. I just grab whichever’s closest.
1/2 cup dark chocolate chips – optional, but highly recommended. I mean, why not?
1 tsp vanilla extract (I go heavy-handed—never measured ness!)

Let’s Get (Sorta) Precise: Making The Muffins

First thing: preheat your oven to 350°F (175°C). Line a muffin tin with paper liners (makes clean up less miserable later!)
Grab your zucchini—don’t bother peeling. Grate it, then press it in a clean dish towel to get rid of some extra water. It’ll seem like overkill, but trust me, you don’t want soggy muffins.
Whisk together the eggs, milk, oil, vanilla, and sugar. Sometimes I use a fork if I don’t feel like washing the whisk. It’s all the same in the end, right?
In another bowl, stir together the almond flour, protein powder, cocoa, baking powder, and salt. I just use a spatula—no flour clouds in my kitchen, please.
Mix your wet and dry stuff together gently. Don’t overdo it—I once stirred for ages and ended up with bricks. Lumpy is okay! Add in grated zucchini and stir gently. It should look thickish and chocolatey. At this point, I sneak a taste just to check (and because chocolate batter is irresistible).
Fold in chocolate chips. Technically optional, but let’s be real: life’s short.
Scoop the batter into your muffin tin. Fill them about 3/4 full. If you go too high, they overflow and look a bit disastrous, but still taste good!
Bake for 20-24 minutes, until a toothpick poked in the center comes out (mostly) clean. If there’s a little melted chocolate, it’s okay—I mean, who wouldn’t want melty chocolate?
Let cool for 10-15 minutes. Or just until you can’t resist tearing into one. They’ll firm up as they cool, I swear.

Stuff I’ve Learned (The Hard Way)

If you overload the pan, you’ll get muffin top explosion. Not the fun kind.
Forgot the salt once. Tasted “off” but nothing that a big ol’ smear of nut butter couldn’t fix!
Fresh zucchini is best, but I’ve tried frozen. Just squeeze out the water like you’re mad at it.
Batter will look almost too thick. It’s right. Don’t add more liquid temptingly.

A Few Fun Variations (Plus One That Flopped!)

Sometimes I swap half the cocoa for peanut butter powder—very Reese’s, very fabulous.
If you’re a spice fan, try a bit of cinnamon or espresso powder. Adds something special!
I did try grated carrots instead of zucchini once… Let’s just say it stayed “healthy” but turned oddly sweet-plus-earthy. Wouldn’t recommend unless you enjoy carrot cake with a serious tan.
Walnuts or pecans instead of chocolate chips: also delicious, and you feel extra virtuous.

Tools I Use (Or… Workarounds When I’m Missing Them)

Muffin tin obviously, but I’ve done these in a loaf pan when I couldn’t find it. Takes about 35-40 min instead!
Box grater for the zucchini—or food processor if you hate grating. Once used a microplane… would not advise. Too much drama.
A whisk, but your sturdy fork does the job just fine, like I said.

Healthy Chocolate Zucchini Protein Muffins (Gluten Free)

How to Store Them (If They Last Longer Than a Day!)

Store in an airtight box on the counter for a day or two—though in my house it never lasts more than a day. Fridge will stretch them to about 5 days if you hide them at the back (pro tip: do NOT label them or they’ll vanish magically overnight). Supposedly they freeze for up to 2 months, but that’s a myth here since they’re always gone too quick.

Serving Tricks and Family Favourites

Honestly, sometimes I just eat one standing at the kitchen counter with a mug of coffee (classic Monday morning vibe), but if I’m making “brunch,” I’ll slice them in half and add a little drizzle of almond butter. My cousin likes them paired with Greek yogurt and berries for a pseudo-fancy breakfast. Oh, and warm is best—microwave for 10 seconds. Heavenly.

Pro Tips (Learned from Oops Moments)

Don’t skip squeezing the zucchini. I once didn’t, and let’s just say “soggy bottom” isn’t as tasty as it sounds (take that, Paul Hollywood!).
I tried to bake these at 400 once to “save time.” Big mistake—they browned before the inside was even cooked. Slow and steady wins here.
If you’re adding nuts, chop them fairly small—otherwise you get surprise chunks that just aren’t ideal.

Real FAQ (Actual ‘Wait, What?’ Questions I’ve Had)

Q: Can you actually taste the zucchini?
Not at all! It disappears like a ninja—adds moisture but no veg flavor. Even my picky-eating mate couldn’t spot it, and she’s like a bloodhound for greens.

Q: Can I make these vegan?
Pretty much, yeah. Just swap in flax eggs and a vegan protein powder—I haven’t tested every brand but my friend Jen does this all the time and says it’s grand (but definitely go full-fat coconut milk, otherwise they get a bit dry).

Q: What if I don’t have almond flour?
Oat flour, as I mentioned earlier, works. Your muffins get slightly chewier. I found this oat flour method handy when I was out of almond.

Q: How do I keep them from sticking?
Spray or oil your liners, or use silicone muffin cups (worth every penny, in my opinion). Or just be zen about prying crumpled bits off the paper. Life is short, after all.

Q: Any good chocolate protein powder recs?
I like Orgain protein powder because it’s not chalky, but honestly, most unsweetened chocolate protein works. If it’s super sweet, maybe scale back the sugar a bit.

So there it is—a deeply imperfect, family-approved protein muffin you’ll keep making. Next time you find a lonely zucchini in your fridge, you know what to do. (And if you want more meal prep inspiration, I often get ideas from here too, especially for gluten free swaps!)

Healthy Chocolate Zucchini Protein Muffins (Gluten Free) You’ll Want Again