Drunken Noodles
Okay, So About That Time I Totally Overdid It on the Thai Chilies…
Look, if we’re being honest, my first attempt at Drunken Noodles (Pad Kee Mao, if you wanna be fancy), was kind of a spicy disaster. My cousin swore he could handle heat “like a local”—famous last words. Three bites in and he was gulping ice water like he’d crossed the Sahara. But you know what? Drunken Noodles have kind of become the folks-around-the-table meal in my family: quick, bold, and hardly ever the same twice (especially when I stray off the recipe. Oops!).
Why I Find Myself Making This More Than I’d Like to Admit
I make this when I want dinner that’ll make everyone forget about the leftovers lingering in the fridge. Or honestly, whenever I need to warn people “Hey, tonight’s noodles might bite back.” My family goes nuts for it because the noodles somehow soak up all that savory sauce—don’t ask me where the sauce actually goes. And here’s the thing: you don’t need to fuss too much. Sometimes I’m just too lazy for a complicated meal. (Measuring precisely? Not here, mate.)
Here’s What I Usually Throw In (Plus Some Swaps)
- About 10 oz wide rice noodles (fresh is dreamy but dried is what’s usually in my cupboard)
- 2 big handfuls chicken, beef, or tofu—sometimes I use leftover rotisserie chicken when I can’t be bothered
- 2 tablespoons vegetable oil (honestly, any neutral oil, but my old flatmate swore peanut oil is the secret; who knows?)
- 1 tablespoon garlic, minced. Granulated garlic in a pinch—don’t sue me
- 2-3 Thai chilies, sliced (keep in mind, my cousin would argue this is too many…)
- 1 bell pepper, sliced thin (I love the red ones for color—whatever you’ve got)
- 1 small yellow onion, sliced
- 4 tablespoons soy sauce—my gran swore by Golden Mountain but most will do
- 2 tablespoons oyster sauce (there’s vegetarian oyster sauce out there for the plant-based folks)
- 1 tablespoon fish sauce (optional—sometimes I skip if I’m feeling the veg vibe)
- 1 teaspoon sugar (or a random squeeze of honey if you’re out)
- Big bunch of fresh Thai basil (holy basil is authentic; regular basil works too in a pinch)
One time I threw in snap peas and it was actually a pretty good move. Just saying.
How I Actually Cook Drunken Noodles (Mostly by Memory)
- First up, soak those rice noodles as per the packet (or barely soak if you like ‘em chewy like me). Drain and set aside. Don’t stress if they look a bit clumpy at this point—mine always do.
- While that’s happening, warm up your wok or the biggest frying pan you’ve got. Chuck in the oil.
- Add the garlic and chilies, let them fry until the kitchen smells amazing. (Open a window if you have nosy neighbors. Heh.)
- Toss in your protein—cook till almost done. Honestly, with tofu I just try not to stir too much or it falls apart; learned that the sticky way.
- Veggies jump in next: onion, bell pepper. Give them a minute to soften up but don’t wait forever.
- Noodles go in. Use tongs, it’s easier. Splash in your soy sauce, oyster sauce, fish sauce (unless skipping), and sugar. Stir till things look evenly coated and delicious. This is where I usually sneak a bite—quality control, obviously.
- Turn off the heat, toss through heaps of basil right at the end. It’ll wilt fast, don’t worry. Consider this your noodle-therapy moment.
If There’s One Thing I Wish Someone Had Told Me…
- The noodles stick. They just will. I like to add a teeny splash of water while stir-frying, makes it all less stressful—don’t let them dry out.
- Don’t be afraid to taste early and often. The sauce sometimes needs more zip, or more sweet, or… something else. No shame in winging it.
- Overcooked basil is kind of sad. I learned this the hard way.
A Few Ways I’ve Gone Off Script (Some Winners, Some… Not)
- Tried shrimp instead of chicken: surprisingly legit.
- A splash of vodka, just for fun (it didn’t do much, but eh!).
- Swapped basil for cilantro once—won’t try that again. Not my best decision.
Wait, Do I Have to Have a Wok?
I mean, a wok is great—but honestly, my battered old frying pan does the job. In a pinch, I’ve used a cast iron skillet; just don’t crowd the pan.
So, How’s It for Leftovers?
Best eaten on the same day, but I’ve microwaved the leftovers and uh, I actually think it tastes better the next day (fight me). Just don’t expect crispy anything. But honestly, in my house it never lasts more than a day—my brother always nicks it at midnight.
Forget Fanciness—Here’s How I Serve Drunken Noodles
Honestly, just a messy pile on a plate. But, if I’ve got friends around, I add lime wedges and a sprinkling of extra basil (and sometimes those mad crunchy fried shallots—I get mine here). A side of cucumber salad will cool the fire, too.
Noodle Truths I’ve Learned (the Hard Way)
- Once tried to rush frying the noodles: turned to glue. Nope. Actually, I find it works better if you let everything heat gently together at the end.
- Heavy-handed with fish sauce? Yeah, it takes over. Measure-ish first, add more later.
- Oh, and don’t skip the fresh basil if you can help it—it makes all the difference. I buy mine at the Asian grocer (here’s a good market guide I use sometimes).
Wait, Will These Noodles Actually Get You Drunk? (FAQ Time!)
- Q: Why are they called drunken noodles?
Well, legend says they’re very good after a few drinks—or so my uncle claims. (There’s no actual booze, unless you wanna add some, but see: vodka experiment above!) - Q: Can I use another kind of noodle if I can’t find the right ones?
Yup, I’ve used fettuccine before; nobody kicked me out of the kitchen. The sauce is the hero here, honestly. - Q: How spicy are these?
Whew, that’s up to you. Add as many (or as few) chilies as you like—taste as you go. Start mild if you’re nervous. - Q: I don’t eat fish, can I skip fish sauce?
Go for it! Add a dash more soy or a pinch of salt—still tastes brill. - Q: Any tips for bulk cooking?
Actually, form my experience, it’s best in smallish batches—a crowded pan messes up everything. If you must, just keep sauce on the side and toss together right before serving!
Ingredients
- 8 oz wide rice noodles
- 2 tablespoons vegetable oil
- 2 cloves garlic, minced
- 1 red bell pepper, sliced
- 1 cup broccoli florets
- 1 cup boneless chicken breast, thinly sliced
- 3 tablespoons soy sauce
- 2 tablespoons oyster sauce
- 1 tablespoon fish sauce
- 1 tablespoon chili paste
- 1 teaspoon sugar
- 1 cup fresh Thai basil leaves
Instructions
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1Soak the rice noodles according to package instructions until just tender, then drain and set aside.
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2In a large wok or skillet, heat the vegetable oil over medium-high heat. Add garlic and sauté until fragrant.
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3Add chicken slices and cook until just browned. Add bell pepper and broccoli, stir-frying for 2-3 minutes.
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4Add the drained noodles to the pan. Stir in the soy sauce, oyster sauce, fish sauce, chili paste, and sugar. Toss well to combine.
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5Stir in fresh Thai basil leaves, cook for 1 minute until wilted, then remove from heat.
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6Serve the drunken noodles hot, garnished with extra basil or sliced chili if desired.
Approximate Information for One Serving
Nutrition Disclaimers
Number of total servings shown is approximate. Actual number of servings will depend on your preferred portion sizes.
Nutritional values shown are general guidelines and reflect information for 1 serving using the ingredients listed, not including any optional ingredients. Actual macros may vary slightly depending on specific brands and types of ingredients used.
To determine the weight of one serving, prepare the recipe as instructed. Weigh the finished recipe, then divide the weight of the finished recipe (not including the weight of the container the food is in) by the desired number of servings. Result will be the weight of one serving.
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